50 years of marriage. or not.

Is wonderful a 50 year marriage? Sixty-three maybe?

This week, two of my friends have written about their parents' long and successful marriages. Success I guess, is relative to what one considers success. I think by anyone's standards, a 50+ year marriage is some degree of success, no matter how you slice it.

I come from a divorced parent family. And in turn, my son does too. I've been married more than once. I guess when the first one didn't work out, I still held hope and belief that marriage was a good thing, and that I could make one last. 

But alas, this is not my fate. It was not, as it turns out, written in the stars for me to know one true and lasting love. 

And I'm at peace with this.

Every person who comes into your lives is meant to teach us something about ourselves. And in return, we teach them something about themselves. Some marriages are good, but break up anyway for various reasons. Some marriages are bad, abusive, and leave both physical and emotional scars. In either case, when it becomes clear that the marriage must end, it is a sad affair.

No one falls in love without forever whispering in their ear.

When my most recent marriage ended three years ago, and I realized that chances were pretty good that I would never know a 50th wedding anniversary, it made me horribly sad. And feeling unworthy. What had I done in this life, or a past one, that resulted in me not knowing an everlasting love, till death do us part? Why do some people seem to pull this marriage stuff off so easy, while others of us fail at it so magnificently? 

I’m not kidding myself here, I know that no marriage- NO marriage, is ever without its struggles and challenges. Two people can’t live together through many years without facing rough waters, and from time to time, just getting a little sick of the other person. I don't care how much two people love and adore each other, there are times when you just want your mate to ship off for a while. 

For those of us that will never know a 50th wedding anniversary, we did the best we knew how to do, while we were doing it. Sometimes relationships last a life time, and sometimes they don’t. We all change as the years roll on, and sometimes this results in two people changing so much, that they change right out of a relationship. 

I still believe in marriage, but perhaps not for me.

I do believe in love.

I believe that some of us are born to love many people in our life time. I can assert that I would not be the woman I am today, had I not had the love relationships I have been lucky to have. None have lasted beyond 15 years, but all served to nourish my life, helping me to grow into the soul I am today. 

I believe there is another love out there for me. Because I know that I would not have been created with all the love I have to give to another, if there not be. 

I salute and honor those who have made marriage, or the committed relationship, work for 50 or more years. Heck, I salute those how have made it to 20, 30 or 40 years together.

              Love until you can’t love any more.

              Make life wonderful for yourself, and the one you love.

              Cherish the one who chose you. And let them cherish you too.

              Make a happy life. Fight for what you have, not with each other.

              Forgive the hurt, and pray that you are forgiven too.

             Take each day as it comes, and make what you can of it.

             Live Life Wonderful- In love, in marriage, in union, in partnership, in committment. 

~ am